Hurt People, Hurt People

The truth about unmanaged pain…

It doesn’t just go away. It goes deep inside until there’s a tight ball that begins to implode like the death of star. And suddenly, all the light goes out.

After the recent shootings around the U.S. this thought keeps playing over and over in my mind. It reverberates loudly because I know that only darkness causes others to be come monsters and take their anger out on innocent people. People in churches, people in grocery stores…children in elementary schools. It’s the worst case scenario of what can happen to unaddressed issues. No, it’s not to condone what the murderers did. Not by any means, but it reminds me of the work I need to do, and keep doing on myself. Within myself.

Never, would I imagine something like these tragedies would unfold. Nor can I pretend I can’t see how it happens. Like I don’t know how it starts. It makes me scared that if I don’t do the work, what demeaning thoughts or ill-advised words might I speak to another? How might I tear someone down or dismantle their spirit? And would I try to justify it simply because of what’s in going on in my life or due to trauma I’ve experienced?

Even the smallest slip up is too much and unfair to my family and those around me. So I commit to doing the work! Not because I wish to be perfect, but because hurt people, hurt people. And even when it’s nowhere near the scale of mass murder… it’s still not all right. It’s not ok to to let my pain and trauma roll down on someone else…like it rolled down on me. That’s the reason why I promote this message about healing the broken places inside us. There’s a purpose for it all.

So if you need to—seek professional help, talk to a trusted friend, tell someone how you’re feeling. Just maybe whatever it is that’s missing or whatever it is that sometimes leads to sadness or something worse, can be addressed and helped if we stop pretending we don’t need to heal. It’s our healing that stops the pain from continuously moving forward and devouring innocent people who didn’t do us any harm and don’t deserve to be on the receiving end of our unmet needs.